Selfish
by craigfuckingtucker
Summary: TaiKeru. [TaichixTakeru]He's just a substitute for all his needs, till he can get the real thing, right? Oneshot.


**A/N: **I like Taichi x Takeru. It's cute, sometimes, and it's different. I like non-cannon pairings and all that jazz. :  
Rate & Review please!!

**Btw; **I don't own Digimon. Lawlz.

**SELFISH. **

When people see me, and think of me, they always think of me as a good person. Not a single thing is _wrong_ with me.

Except for my anger at darkness, but they don't count that. Its _natural_, they say.

But I'm not who they think I am. Even if they accept me for who I love, they could never accept how _selfish _I am. I can't even accept it, some nights.

An arm wrapped around my waist, as I squeezed my eyes shut. I envisioned I was with another guy. Not this one, but the one that he reminds me of.

The one I confused, for him.

He'd never be that guy, though.

"Takeru," his strong low voice stirred in my ear. I shivered, feeling his lips so close, and his orbs blowing in my eye. "You're awake. What's wrong?"

His tone sounded a little worried, but then again, he always felt like he had to protect me. If my brother isn't there, at my time of need, he'd be the second guy.

And _he_ would be third...

"Nothing," I lie to the person beside me. I turn around and meet with milk chocolate eyes that could've made me melt.

But I'm already a puddle because of _him_...

"It's him, isn't it?" he was so smart. He remembered why we even started this. To have our sexual and emotional needs taken care of. His problem was solved, though. He fell out of love of the guy I was the substitute for, and he fell in love with me. I... well; I've been working on falling back for him. It was comfortable being with him, but...

He still wasn't_ him_.

I shook my head, and then nuzzled into his chest. He became quiet as I took in the scent of vanilla and sweat. It was sweet. Bittersweet.

I wanted to love him back. He's been there for me so much more than _him_, but my heart won't ache his name when he's gone. My heart won't ache for anything 'else' anymore.

I wish this was as easy as it was for him. But like I said, I'm selfish

And just want what I wanted first.

-

The weekend came, and I saw _him_. He was at the park, playing football with his teammates. I watched on the benches, at his body just move gracefully. How could I have not noticed the beauty he was when I was younger? Why didn't I get my chance to be with him, instead of Miyako? She should've been with Ken!

"Takeru!?" his voice yelled, confused. I smiled at him as he ran up to meet me. A smile fell on his face. "What're you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see an old buddy," I lied. I just wanted to watch him, with my boyfriends at work. "So what's up, Dai?"

That small smile grew larger. "Miyako and I are going to get married. She said yes!"

I heard glass shattering, over and over, in my head. Or was it my heart? I had to quickly fake a grin, and hugged him. "That's so great!" why was it great, again? Tears were springing to my eyes. "I feel like a gay guy, crying." I muttered before he laughed.

"Don't worry," he chuckled. "I'm sure you'll find someone to love."

I did. He's getting married though.

He checked his watch, and sighed. "We never see each other, enough. I'll talk to you later T.K. Gotta see 'Yako."

He left, and I sighed. I had to get over everything that had to do with him. Maybe now, I could finally love my boyfriend.

-

I felt his body slump against mine, and he turned away. Usual sex wasn't like this. He was used to me saying Dai's name, and muttering fowl language. Tonight, like many other nights since I went and saw Dai, I didn't say a name. I didn't even think of Dai, and I sighed.

"Do you need me anymore," he asked, out of nowhere, in the silence.

I was shocked. He never asked that before. "Tai..."

"I don't think you do. Are you secretly with Daisuke now?"

"Tai, no-"

"Did you find another guy?!"

I sat up. "Tai shut up! I don't want another guy, and I'm not with Dai! I'm with you, and today I realized I rather be with you instead of just any random guy, including Dai!"

He turned towards me. His eyes full of hope. Wasn't I supposed to be hope? No, I was selfish.

But now I wanted someone more reasonable; someone that I should have noticed a long time ago, but I had been too blind.

I kissed Tai, affectionately. His eyes were warm, and a rosy hue was brushed on his cheek. "Do you mean me?" he whispered.

I nodded, kissing him again. "I mean you."  
And my heart ached no more.


End file.
